Today was much the same as yesterday. I can’t really say that Jack is doing “good” or “bad”, it’s safer to say that he is “stable”. The nurse describes him as if he is sitting on a fence and hasn’t yet decided whether he wants to fall off the fence or climb over it. We want him to climb. Jack will let us know when he makes up his mind. For now it’s nice to have a break from the ups and downs of the rollercoaster and just ride along. Well, actually, it would be nice to not be on this ride at all. But riding it means that we get to be Jack’s parents, so we’re buckled in for the long haul.
Adam had kind of rough day today. He’s been trying so hard to stay positive for me that he was just beyond exhaustion (emotionally) today. I had a little bit better day today, which probably made it easier for him to not have to pretend to be doing okay for me. He has such a tender heart – and I am glad. I just love my husband. Several people (social workers, nurses, doctors…etc.) have warned us of the stress this can put on our marriage and that a lot of couples can really get at each other at times like these. I know that Jack was born 5 days ago and Adam and I have not once gotten on each others nerves or had to be short with each other. In fact, we can’t stand to be apart. Even if the other one is just napping or going to the restroom, we miss those moments together. In fact, right now I am down with Jack and he is upstairs with Megan and I actually miss him.
It’s nice that this NICU has laptops for rent for use in our room. We have been doing a lot of research. I can’t believe how much my knowlegde base has grown the last few days. And yet there is still so much that I don’t understand.
We are staying at the Ronald McDonald House and I am excited because Megan gets to stay the night with us tonight. I sure have missed her. The other NICU did not allow children under 5 to see the babies, so it was nice that they allow that here. We can all spend time together. I hate being away from Jack though. It’s hard to leave at night. They say they will call immediately if they ever think we need to be here, but I still set my alarm for the middle of the night to call and check on him.
I guess that’s all for now. We’re hanging in there. Just barely, but we’ve pretty much tied a knot in the end of our rope and we are holding on.