Things are going as well as can be hoped for right now. Both the head ultrasounds from today and from Wednesday have shown no signs of bleeding. He had an ECHO of his heart today and they say that they continue to see improvement (he was born with a healthy and perfect heart, but since he has hypertension, his heart has had to work too hard since the day he was born, and now it needs a break: thus, the ECMO machine.) The improvement is really small, but that’s what they expect at this point. As far as we know, there is no change in the hypertension status.
In one of his visits, our Bishop left us with the recent General Conference issue of the Ensign. He urged us to study it and seek for any counsel that might help us through this difficult time. Adam and I were both overcome by the spirit while reading the talk by Elder Wirthlin. Not sure how this is possible, but it was pretty much written just for us.
There are so many things about this talk that I love, so I encourage you to read the talk in it’s entirety. Some thoughts that touched me in particular were:
“Every life has peaks and shadows and times when it seems that the birds don’t sing and bells don’t ring. Yet in spite of discouragement and adversity, those who are happiest seem to have a way of learning from difficult times, becoming stronger, wiser, and happier as a result.”
“You may feel singled out when adversity enters your life. You shake your head and wonder, ‘Why me?’
But the dial on the wheel of sorrow eventually points to each of us. At one time or another, everyone must experience sorrow. No one is exempt.”
“The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude.”
He also tells about how his grandson Joseph has autism. He mentions that Joseph’s father and mother were heartbroken as they came to terms with the illness. I was reminded of how heartbroken I was as I imagined whatever special needs Jack might have. Elder Wirthlin told about what a joy Joseph is to his family, and what a choice spirit he is.
We don’t know just yet what afflictions Jack will face in this lifetime. I know that there is a good chance that he will have some special needs, and dealing with those will be quite difficult. I also know that I don’t want to lose him and I want to raise him in this life “come what may”. I already know that Jack is a choice spirit. I know that he will continue to bring so much joy to our little family.
We’re so grateful that the last talk from our beloved Elder Wirthlin seemed to be written specifically for us. I had always heard stories about “needing” to hear something during conference and feeling something was just for you, but I had never experienced it until now. I do believe the words which this apostle spoke.
Adam and I are indeed going through the most difficult time of our life right now. We are sad and we are heartbroken but we are taking comfort from the words of the apostles and prophets and the scriptures.
Doctrine and Covenants 121:7 –
“Peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment.”
A lifetime with Jack (plus forever) will more than makeup for the sorrow we are feeling now.