Pushing Play


Adam and I feel like our life was put on pause seven weeks ago and now we have to push play again. Only…while that life was on pause, a whole different life took it’s place and somehow altered our old life as we knew it. Now we have to go back and pick up where we left off – only we don’t recognize the life we once had as our own.

We are finally home now. It’s been 10 days since Baby Jack passed on, and it feels like we have been running as fast as our legs can carry us – nonstop. There are pros and cons to being so busy. Our minds have been so preoccupied that we haven’t thought about how sad we are. But at the same time – I foresee emotions hitting us like a ton bricks: sometime soon.

Over the next couple of days I plan on writing several posts in attempt to complete the story of Jack’s life and death. My goal is to have the Jack portion of my blog printed in a small book for me to keep in our Jack keepsake box, so I want to be sure to document as much of it as I can.

Posts to follow will probably be about Jack’s birth, death, and funeral. Let me know if there is anything else that you have wondered about while reading “Jack’s Story” and I will try to post about it. Adam and I have tried to keep a handwritten journal throughout Jack’s six weeks of life, but it is sketchy at best. This blog has been such a blessing.

You’ll be hearing from me soon. I am anxious to get things written so I don’t forget. Much love.

9 responses »

  1. We love you three. And, we love Jack more and more each day. He will forever be our brightest star. Glad you guys made it home safely. Get some rest. I’m sure you need it. Give Megan a kiss from her favorite Aunt.

  2. You are so right! Stay worthy of the Comforter’s constant presence to buoy you up in your journey. It seems like everyone else’s lives go on but we are “just stuck” for a while. We are here to help you.
    Much Love, Dean & Bobbi Thompson

  3. You are so great. I am excited to read about your little angel. He did such a great job of reminding us all what is important in life and what we need to focus our lives around. Family is so important and it’s easy to take our loved ones for granted. I will be forever grateful for little Jack for the lessons of love that he and your family taught during his amazing stay on this earth. Thank you so much for writing this blog. I have loved being able to learn from you and Jack.

    Adrian and Mark

  4. I’m trying to find my “play” button.
    I know it’s here somewhere.
    You’ll have to excuse me for a minute,
    ‘cuz I’m having a “Jack Attack”!
    I love you!!!

  5. We love Jack, we really really do. I hope that he and Topher were friends in the Pre-existance and that they look forward to being reunited. I hope that telling Jack’s story is therapeutic in a way, but mostly I just want to know everything about him because I have so much love for him. I think about him every single day and the words you and Adam spoke at the memorial service keep replaying over and over in my mind. You both did such a good job and expressed your love so clearly. It was very, very touching. Thank you for giving us access to Jack’s story. I wish things could have been different and I would even have traded places with you if I could have. I’m so sorry, Elizabeth. I don’t think I can ever tell you how sorry I am.

  6. Words, What are they? Meaning different things in different ways, to different people.
    I too, like so many others, wish to have questions answered. Maybe it is not meant to be. What if……? Why….? When…..? Where…..? How…..? It’s all a blur and definitely a pause on the play button.
    I can’t seem to get my mind going again. Our minds, so amazing, yet so, complex. Mine, is so involved, complicated and full of emotions. It feels like a slowly moving part of consciousness. I can’t even begin to imagine, how you are feeling, and coping. We love you, we love your posts, we love your baby Jack. Time will heal the wounds but never replace the loss. Our Heavenly Father will, we know.
    Such beautiful words spoken at the services, in Vegas, please post them, for all to remember also, if it is too personal, I will understand.

    Love, Aunt Val

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