My Better Half


I have been wanting to write a post about Adam for weeks now. I have started multiple times only to quit because there are just no words that do my husband justice.

When Jack was but days old, a social worker sat Adam and me down and warned us of the stress and distress such an exhausting situation can have on couples and on their relationship. She expressed severe concern in our behalf because she knew how sick Jack was, knew how sore my body was, and knew how exhausted we all were. She made us promise to talk to her if ever our relationship was suffering any ill effects.

Despite the confusion, the anxiety, the sorrow, the pain, the hunger, the fatigue: all the emotional ups an downs; Adam and I never had to battle marital stress.

We have been married over three years now, and not a day has passed wherein I haven’t been in awe of my sweet husband. He is the most compassionate, selfless, and honest person I have ever known. He loves me more and treats me better than I could have ever imagined possible. Because he is so incredible to me, I strive every day to treat him the way he deserves. He is the reason why we get along so well. Why even in our darkest time and most difficult trial, our marriage was unfazed.

Well, I guess that’s not true. Our relationship has definitely changed. Amidst sleepless nights, tears of sorrow, deep emotional discussions, and moments of desperation: we grew stronger. And while I have always loved Adam with all my heart: somehow that love grew.

I physically hurt when I think about how sorrowful it is for Adam to have lost his little boy. There are so many wonderful daddy/son moments that he was looking forward to. I also know that Adam is struggling to find motivation to make it through his last semester of school. He dreads going and arrives home only to tell me of how difficult it was for him to concentrate. It’s so hard for him to go about the normalcy of school, when our life will never again be “normal”. I feel guilty that I have my blog, which is so therapeutic for me, while Adam doesn’t have any such outlet. I questioned him about this concern and he said his outlet is “dominating on the football field…on XBOX”. Watch out fourteen year old boys…you’ve been warned.

Who knew?

Who knew?

While I have a very firm testimony of the Gospel, and gain great strength in my knowledge that my family is forever, Adam really holds me together when I am at my lowest and when the sorrow can be blinding. I don’t think anyone could comprehend how well matched we are for each other, and I will forever be grateful that he picked me to be his eternal companion.

10 responses »

  1. that….. was the greatest thing I’ve ever read. You two are both very blessed to have found one another – seriously, you both scored 🙂 Is this really Adam’s last semester? Not sure how I feel about you moving next year

  2. Probably no one else could better understand how awesome Adam is than me … after all, I did marry his older “twin”. I am sure this semester will be difficult for you both. I sympathize with how distracted Adam would feel trying to be in school. Ugh!

    I’m also happy that Adam chose you – you are an awesome sister-in-law! Love, Mary

  3. Adam and Liz,

    I’m so happy you have eachother too! You really are perfect for eachother and bring out the best in eachother! You amaze me and I’ve looked up to and admired you two for years! Know that I love you!

  4. You don’t know me. But we have a common thread… My brother in law is Adam Mills who is friends with your husband. I heard of your story and was heart broken for your loss. My sister told me you kept a journal on your blog and that I should take the time to read it. I have spent half of my morning on the computer. Tears and mascara now stain my white shirt and cheeks, my throat is dry and hurts and my daughter is still in her pajamas. I am so greatful that you took the time when you didn’t have much to share your sons life with so many… even strangers like me. I feel like today I have a greater appriciation for my eternal family and the principles of the gosple. I want to be a better Mom and daughter of my Heavenly Father. Life gets crazy and testimonies can be put on the back burnner. I feel like that has been my life lately. Your testimony and love for your Heavenly Father and his plan has strengthened mine today. Thank You! You have touched my life. I am truley sorry for your loss! I hope you continue to feel peace and love. Thank You again for sharing your sons life. He is lucky to have you as his Mother.

  5. This is so beautiful Liz. Thanks for documenting all of this. I think reading your blog makes me more human.

  6. I always knew you two would always be happy no matter what. Adam has always treated you so well and it was never hard to see how you both felt about each other. Also, your blog is therapeutic for the rest of us. You guys are awesome, so glad I know you 🙂 xo.

  7. I am so glad that you have each other. I know Adam is great, but i would have to say that he didn’t do to bad himself. You are amazing and have such strenght that I am sure he depends on so much. We love you guys! I found a picture just today of you, me, and Dawn Schmutz on the beach in CA on one of those Stake YM YW activities. WE were super hot with our sunburns and swimsuits.

  8. I don’t think I will ever forget the first day we met, and you had your shoes that you wouldn’t wash the dirt off of because the dirt clumps were the last remnant of your last date with Adam before you came up to the Y – or the time I walked into the laundry room at shalena’s parents house and all the lights were off and… remember that? good old days.

  9. Back in the day, when things were “heatin’ up”,
    I wished: “Why couldn’t this be happening after
    Adam had finished his mission?”
    Oh, ye (me) of little faith!
    I will be forever grateful that things worked out.
    Adam + Elizabeth = Perfect Match!!!
    I sure do love you two.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s