I have been wanting to write a post about Adam for weeks now. I have started multiple times only to quit because there are just no words that do my husband justice.
When Jack was but days old, a social worker sat Adam and me down and warned us of the stress and distress such an exhausting situation can have on couples and on their relationship. She expressed severe concern in our behalf because she knew how sick Jack was, knew how sore my body was, and knew how exhausted we all were. She made us promise to talk to her if ever our relationship was suffering any ill effects.
Despite the confusion, the anxiety, the sorrow, the pain, the hunger, the fatigue: all the emotional ups an downs; Adam and I never had to battle marital stress.
We have been married over three years now, and not a day has passed wherein I haven’t been in awe of my sweet husband. He is the most compassionate, selfless, and honest person I have ever known. He loves me more and treats me better than I could have ever imagined possible. Because he is so incredible to me, I strive every day to treat him the way he deserves. He is the reason why we get along so well. Why even in our darkest time and most difficult trial, our marriage was unfazed.
Well, I guess that’s not true. Our relationship has definitely changed. Amidst sleepless nights, tears of sorrow, deep emotional discussions, and moments of desperation: we grew stronger. And while I have always loved Adam with all my heart: somehow that love grew.
I physically hurt when I think about how sorrowful it is for Adam to have lost his little boy. There are so many wonderful daddy/son moments that he was looking forward to. I also know that Adam is struggling to find motivation to make it through his last semester of school. He dreads going and arrives home only to tell me of how difficult it was for him to concentrate. It’s so hard for him to go about the normalcy of school, when our life will never again be “normal”. I feel guilty that I have my blog, which is so therapeutic for me, while Adam doesn’t have any such outlet. I questioned him about this concern and he said his outlet is “dominating on the football field…on XBOX”. Watch out fourteen year old boys…you’ve been warned.While I have a very firm testimony of the Gospel, and gain great strength in my knowledge that my family is forever, Adam really holds me together when I am at my lowest and when the sorrow can be blinding. I don’t think anyone could comprehend how well matched we are for each other, and I will forever be grateful that he picked me to be his eternal companion.