It has been eight years since Adam and I celebrated our first Valentine’s Day together.
I can vividly picture that 17 year old me, red rose in hand, blushing and smiling as I watched Adam practically run away in a nervous yet triumphant jaunt. I think of that 17 year old girl, and wonder what I would say to her if I had the chance…
Would I tell her that cute little skinny guy (who had just mustered up more courage than she would ever know to give her that single flower) would soon break her heart, but then in couple years (when the time was right), that he would mend it again?
Would I tell her that the two of them would marry, in the Lord’s temple, for time and all eternity, and that she could never have imagined such happiness?
Would I tell her that things will only get better as a the two of them welcome a beautiful daughter, who is as sweet as they come and as precious as they get? Should I tell her of the joy and happiness that this little girl will be? That she will fill their home with laughter and music, that she will give the best hugs and the best little kisses? That she will bring sunshine to even the darkest days?
Dare I shatter her picture of perfection and tell her about her little boy, (the one she had been dreaming of since as early as age ten) and how he would be in her life for but a short moment before the angels escorted him Home? That he would change her forever and that he would always leave an empty space in her heart? How no amount of busy work, no “allotted grieving time” and how nothing and no one would ever fill those empty arms? How her experience with her boy would make her different from her friends, family, and nearly everyone around her?
Probably I wouldn’t tell her a thing. It wouldn’t make a difference.
I know she would have still chosen this life. She would have chosen Adam, Megan and Jack, no matter the cost. She would have known that it would be a wonderful life and that she would always be happy: in a bittersweet kind of way.
Here’s wishing that 17 year old girl a Happy Valentine’s Day. I know that she didn’t know then what she knows now, but I am so grateful she chose this life.
But mostly I’m grateful for that timid boy who handed her that single rose.