Before the births of my children, I picked out a song that would be “their lullaby” and I would sing it to them while I laid in bed at night. After Megan was born, I used to sing it to her as I rocked her to sleep.
I never got a chance to sing Jack his lullaby after he was born. I tried to sing it to him once he passed on, but it just didn’t seem right. I found myself instead singing Megan’s lullaby.
I have since decided that both songs are perfect for my children, but I had gotten them mixed up. The one that I picked for Megan should have been Jack’s, and vice versa.
Megan’s lullaby, which is now Jack’s lullaby, is from a Broadway musical. I found it in a book of piano music that we had growing up, and I remember thinking as a young girl that I wanted to sing it to my child someday. I went over it again and again in my mind until I had it memorized. I’ve never even actually heard the real song; I don’t even know what musical it is from:
No more wars to fight
White flags fly tonight
You are out of danger now
Battlefield is still
Wild poppies on the hill
Peace can only come when you surrender
Hear the tracers fly
Lighting up the sky
But I’ll fight on to the end
Let them send their armies
I will never bend
I won’t see you now ’till I surrender
I’ll see you again when I surrender
I always likened the “surrendering” to a child drifting off to sleep. It took on new meaning as I sang it to Jack that night; as he was finally at peace. I hope to make good of my promise that I made to him then that I would “fight on to the end”.
I don’t think Megan will mind that I switched the songs up on her. After all, she’ll hear me singing both of them plenty of times. I still lay in bed and sing Jack’s song to him everyone once in a while. Perhaps he will check in on me one occasion and hear me singing it for him. That’d be nice.