Monthly Archives: October 2010

A Shirt a Day for Halloween!


Last year I was able to hit up Target a few days after Halloween and score a ton of Halloween t-shirts for Megan at 75% off. This year she was able to wear a different Halloween shirt to school every day for the entire month of October! She had the exact amount of shirts for days of school – (luckily, she had two regular school days off or we would have been two shirts short! Could you imagine?!)

I probably won’t go looking for sales after this Halloween because I think most of her shirts will still fit her next year. Megan loved wearing a different shirt each day. It might be hard to convince her that we need to tuck those shirts away until next year!!!

Halloween Parade!


Today was Halloween costume day at Megan’s preschool. The parents were invited to come and watch the kids parade around in their Halloween costumes.

Remember Megan’s birthday post when I wrote about Megan’s love for Green M&Ms? Well, that’s just what she wanted to be for Halloween. She is just the cutest little Green M&M that you ever will see!!

Here is a video of her little class parading around the parents. Megan was the only child I saw dancing their way around the loop.

She just melts my heart!!!!

needing to get ready


“Last time” we had everything ready and waiting for Jack and his arrival. I can’t even describe how painful it was to arrive home after living for five weeks at the Ronald McDonald House and see his swing ready and waiting. His bouncer…ready and waiting. His clothes, his baby bath, his blankets, his car seat, his boppy, and his crib…all ready and waiting. Once the dust from the memorial service and funeral settled, we had to take down his crib, his swing and his bouncer. We had to pack away his clothes and his blankets and all his baby toys. I told Adam to just get rid of it all: give it away to people in need or take it back to the store – whatever – just get rid of it. But Adam, in his infinite wisdom, convinced me to wait until the grief wasn’t so fresh before I decided I didn’t need anymore baby items. How grateful I am that he was able to see beyond the moment.

Anyway, last week was not an easy one for me. The closer Baby Sam’s due date becomes, the more fearful I become. I’ll admit it, recently I have been more scared than ever that Samuel will be born sick. This week I might be stronger and more hopeful, but last week I was a mess. We only have about eight weeks left, and it is coming much too soon. I want to keep him in there so much longer just so I can have a guarantee that he is alive and with me. I am in no hurry for him to arrive.

So back to what I was saying about getting things ready. I have been having a hard time getting the motivation to do so. Unless you have “been there and done that”, then you don’t really know how heart-breaking it is to have a room ready for baby, only to have the room and all the things that you prepared with such love and excitement go unused. Given the state I was in last week, I decided that getting things ready for baby would help me anticipate his arrival with more excitement and less fear. And guess what? It’s working! Adam and I both love walking through the baby’s room and seeing his crib all set up. For the next few weeks I get to work on getting his room in order and everything ready. I am totally looking forward to it.

Thank you to my cousins Kyle and Clayton and their mad power saw skills which took us from this:

To this:

And to Adam and my brother Loren who moved furniture so we could go from this:

To this:

And from this:

To this:

I realize that this is a pretty limited shot of the baby’s room. But I still have a lot of work to do in there.

Only 8 more weeks until I go from this:

To this!

First Field Trip!


Today Megan’s preschool took a field trip out to “PumpkinLand”. Parents were invited to meet them there and spend the morning with their little ones. Although I told Megan that I would be there, she was still so pleasantly surprised to see me when she stepped off the bus. And although I have been her mom for four years plus, I was still so happy to spend the morning with her.

Megan and I had fun checking out all the pumpkins and different Fall vegetables, and we also enjoyed the corn maze…for the most part. We (along with most of the other people there) could not make our way to the end of the maze. We ended up returning to the entrance and going around the perimeter to the playground at the end of the maze. There was also a little haunted house and some small animals. We had a great time.

For the most part, Megan wanted to stick with her class. I tried to not to take it too personally, and instead was just grateful that she loves preschool so much. While walking with the group, one of her teachers said to me, “by the way, your daughter is incredibly brilliant!” I wasn’t sure how to respond…so I just said “thanks” and said we sure love her and the fun things she can do.

Megan didn’t want to go home with me afterwards, and instead wanted to take the bus. When they dropped her off at home a little later, I asked her (as I do everyday) what was her favorite part of school. She replied: “the pumpkin patch, with Mommy!!!”


in remembrance


on september 28th 2006, united states house of representatives declared october 15th as national pregnancy and infant loss remembrance day.

on october 15th, consider lighting a candle at 7:00 p.m. (in your respective time zone) to create a wave of light across the nation, to honor all babies born sleeping, or whom we have carried but never met, or those we have held but could not take home, or the ones that came home…but could not stay.

not like you

i am a mother
though not like you.

you cradle your sweet baby in your arms,
mine are empty; i hold him in my heart.

you brush her soft curly hair, and tie pretty pink bows just right.
a lock of his hair is tucked neatly in a book.

you pick daisies and tie them in a chain to wear around her neck.
i cut lilacs and arrange them in a vase to set at his grave.

you look forward to dreams and plans.
i hold on to memories.

i am a mother,
though not like you.
– Sheri Hess

all my love this week to those who have miscarried, delivered stillborn babes, or have buried an infant.

*we will be lighting a candle in memory of our angel jack. we love you!