I have been seriously slacking on my Sunday reports.
I honestly have not been taking the time to fill my spiritual cup lately. It’s Summer, so with it comes trips to the pool, hours spent outside, reading programs, parties, playdates, trips…the list goes on.
This week I have been thinking a lot about Jack (yep, more than usual). Not long after Jack was born, I felt very strongly that he knew before he arrived what his life would entail. I think he knew that he wouldn’t live long. I think he knew that he would spend the entirety of his life strapped to a bed, connected to tubes, wires, pumps, and monitors; helpless, motionless, and often uncomfortable. I think he knew that those who loved him most would stand by day after day, minute after minute, and watch him suffer; all along battling powerful feelings of confusion, anguish, and heartache. I think he knew he would never get to know his older sister, and he would never be a big brother to future siblings. I think he knew that his mom and dad would never get to hold him, and that their arms would ache lifelong for that missed experience.
I think he knew all this, but he chose to come anyway.
There are a lot of lessons we could learn from this, but what hit me when I was first impressed by these thoughts, was how important our physical bodies are. Jack’s physical body was far from perfect (very far from perfect). But I think he knew how important it was to come to this earth, to be a part of a family, and to gain a physical body. Jack taught me that my body is a wonderful gift, and comparatively, I have been blessed with a pretty great one. It has changed the way I have looked at my body, as well as the way I have treated it.
Like I said, it wasn’t long after Jack arrived, that I was impressed with this lesson about Jack’s decision to come: regardless the state of his mortal body. It was such a powerful and strong impression to me, that it has remained one of the more important things that I learned from my angel son. Some days, when I don’t feel like working out, or I do feel like eating things that are not good for my body, I remind myself the value of my physical body, and what a desirable and precious gift it is.
I’d like to think that Jack is there, encouraging and pushing me, on the days I feel weakest. I know that he would have loved to stick around, to run and jump and dance in his own little mortal body, but he just didn’t get the chance.
I hope that we can all look at our bodies a little differently this week, that we will appreciate the wonderful gift that we have been given; regardless of any shortcomings, imperfections, or ailments our bodies may endure, and remember that no matter what the “world” teaches us about beauty or perfection, that our bodies are SO BEAUTIFUL!!
How great it is to be alive!