I have been looking forward to this conference in particular for weeks now. I’ll tell you why.
In this month’s Ensign, the first presidency message is entitled “General Conference – No Ordinary Blessing” by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf. The message has some wonderful suggestions for getting the most out of the upcoming conference sessions, and it really hit home with me. The very first suggestion was my favorite. It states: As you prepare for general conference, I invite you to ponder questions you need to have answered. For example, you might yearn for direction and guidance by the Lord regarding challenges you are facing.
I remember so clearly the conference right after Jack died. Never before, and never since, have I listened to conference with such yearning for something to be said personally to me. So many messages were about losing children and overcoming the grief by accepting God’s Plan and finding hope in temple covenants. Since then, I haven’t had too many specific questions I’ve needed answered, and I have just listened to conference and sought for ways to strengthen my faith and testimony as well as received reminders of ways I can be more holy and Christlike in my own life.
This time, however, I need to listen for something specific for me, again. It’s not all that personal, but to me, it’s a big deal. For months now, I have been in so much physical pain. I am seeking treatment and trying to do my part to overcome this obstacle, but the pain persists. It is debilitating, and it keeps me from being the wife, mother, and person that I need to be. It is depressing and frustrating, and I need strength.
I accept that people live for months, years, even the entirety of their life with pain. I would love the pain to just disappear, but I am not expecting that. What I seek from this next general conference is a message to me of strength, patience and comprehension, so that I might understand why I have to experience this particular trial at this particular time (currently, Adam’s work, school, and church responsibilities have him away from the home more than ever before in our marriage).
I’ll have my heart and ears tuned to the speakers this weekend, and I know that something will be said to help lift this burden. I invite you all to do the same. Just like President Uchtdorf, I promise that something will be said that you need to hear. If you’d like to comment and share what you will be listening for, then feel free. Next “Sundae”, I will share what messages humbled, uplifted, and inspired me most.