Monthly Archives: November 2011

Jack’s Third Birthday


Today is Jack’s third birthday.

The grief came in waves throughout the day. My low point was when I was baking Jack’s birthday cake. I cried as I mixed blue food coloring into the cake batter; thinking how I wish I really was making a birthday cake for a three-year old boy. Instead I made little blue cupcakes, which no one (besides me) ended up eating.

The high point was Megan’s attitude throughout the day. She loved that it was her brother’s birthday and that we wrote him notes, attached them to balloons, and sent them Heavenward. She was so cheerful. Before we wrote our notes to Jack, she kept telling me different things she was going to say to him. “When will we see you again?” and “can you ask Jesus to do me a favor?” were two of my favorite possible messages. In the end she just told him “Happy Birthday” and asked him in how many more years would he be “322 years old.”

We went to a park in the early evening and released our Jack balloons.

I am so surprised that I got a good picture of Janie at the balloon release. She was cold AND hungry, and really wanted NOTHING to do with the festivities.

Really, she was just outwardly expressing how we were all inwardly feeling:

We sure miss Jack. It is so hard not having him here in so many ways. When Jack died, we didn’t know what was happening. He had been in the middle of surgery, and we were waiting outside his room. The doctors came to us and said, “he’s not tolerating the surgery very well” and we hurried in there. They didn’t say that he was dying until we got to his room and they told us to hurry and say our goodbyes. We rushed to his side and I was only able to say two things to my little boy before they said, “he’s gone”. Of course I told Jack that I loved him. The only other thing that I could think to say at that time was: “thank you for being my son.”

I am forever grateful that I am Jack’s mother. He has changed my life so much. I love him with all my heart and I so look forward to the day I will see him again.

Pinterest: I Pinned it, so I DID it.


So I am sure most of you are on Pinterest, or have at least heard of it. If you haven’t then you should really check it out. I love it. It makes me feel so crafty, even though I do NOT have a crafty bone in my body.

I don’t spend a lot of time on Pinterest, but I do try to go on and pin at least five things that I like each day. Also, I told myself that if I am going to participate in Pinterest, I will not just pin things I like without executing any of them. And, since we have already established that I do not have a crafty bone in my body, this goal has forced me to come out of my little box a little bit. My goal is to try to follow through with one of my pins each week. So far I have done pretty well. Here are some of the things that I found on Pinterest that I have done myself (as you look through these, you will find that they are the simplest, easiest, least involved things ever):

I made these puppies for a football party:

Megan and her 2nd cousin Layla made these a few days before Halloween:

I already posted about these a couple weeks ago:

I made these for my nieces and nephews when I was in Vegas before Halloween:

Megan and I made these last week in preparation for Thanksgiving:

Megan has LOVED every single thing we have made together. I know they are all simple and super EASY, but it sure beats doing nothing.

Much to the surprise of all the over-acheiveing super moms that I associate with, I do not make my own baby food for Jane. Therefore, I have LOTS and LOTS of baby food jars. I think my next project will be a baby food jar craft. I found some pretty fun ones on Pinterest that I am itching to try. Really, if you can think it, you can find in on Pinterest.

*Note, if you are not familiar with Pinterest, and you have NO idea what I am talking about, then check it out/do some research. I don’t think I could explain it very well here.



I love when something that Jane is up to induces a memory of when Megan was a baby.

The other day the girls were playing together with a toy that Megan used to play with all.the.time. It was so sweet to think back to the time when I just had my little Megan and then to fast forward to current day.

Megan, March 2007:

Megan and Jane, November 2011:

The month of November is a bittersweet month for me. We have Jack’s birthday and then the anniversary of the short season of his life. Each day I look at my girls and accept how very blessed I am, regardless of my loss. I love my sweet girls more then I could ever describe.

Happy Halloween 2011


This year I planned the girl’s Halloween constumes months in advance. I really wanted the girls to have coordinating costumes. It took Megan some convincing but I eventually got my way. Presenting the most beautiful Little Bo Peep and the cutest little sheep:

“Little sheep, where are you?”

“Here I am!”

We took the girls up to my brother’s house and they went trick or treating with their cousins. Everyone had a great night.

This was probably my most favorite Halloween. I’m hoping they can coordinate again next year! The girls were so cute!