41 Days

Charlotte is 41 days old today. For 41 days I have held her and snuggled her and kissed her and cherished her and soaked in every ounce of her absolute perfection. The very thought of losing her devastates me and makes me physically ill. The idea of having her taken away from me literally makes my stomach churn and my heart race and my head throb. I love her so completely; without any reservation …and condition. She is a very real piece of me; albeit separate and apart, but that I could not live without.

My sweet Jack only lived for 41 days. For 41 days I sat by his side and ran my fingers through his hair and sang soft lullabies and whispered sweet somethings. I loved and cherished him so fiercely and so sincerely and each day I fervently pleaded and prayed for his miraculous recovery and that the doctors would find a way to save him. The pain of watching him suffer and knowing he would not survive was devastating and debilitating. When he was 41 days old, I lost him. He was taken from me. And as certain as I was that I could not bear losing a child that I loved so much, I’m equally certain that my Heavenly Father was there with me. Loving and comforting me so fiercely and completely. I felt Him so surely when my little boy passed and was finally placed in my arms for the first time. In my moment of certain devastation, He was there. He carried me through that terrible heartbreak, just as He always has and always will. There is not a doubt in my mind that families are eternal and that my boy is mine forever. I so look forward to the day when I will hold my little boy again. I am certain I am being held by my Heavenly Father in the meantime.

Vegas Vacation!

We decided to have Charlotte’s baby blessing in Las Vegas. The children and I headed down a week early for a much needed Summer vacation. Adam had to teach all week so he flew in later.

The children were so GOOD on the drive down. I was a little nervous about going by myself with the 4 kids including a newborn, but the drive down could not have gone smoother! Charlotte didn’t cry even ONCE. Not ONE time! She doesn’t normally take a pacifier but I brought one along and she used it the entire drive! She slept on and off and we only had to stop once for lunch and to feed her. It was such a blessing! Prayers are answered folks!

We spent the entire week just being lazy and swimming a lot. Sarah and Sonya helped me with the kids at the pool, and Charlotte and I spent much of our time lounging poolside.

At one point, Alec flared up with a yucky rash. I am pretty sure it was a reaction to the amoxicillin he was on for an ear infection (Megan is also allergic to amoxicillin.) He didn’t act like it bothered him or anything, but it sure was ugly.

We also spent time at Grandma and Grandpa Johanson’s. We had a yummy barbeque there to celebrate Charlie’s blessing. The children also swam and many family and cousins got to meet the new baby for the first time.

We ended the week with my birthday and Charlotte’s blessing (which will get its own post.) It was such a great vacation after spending much of the summer indoors with our new baby.

Pioneer Day 2015

Megan and Adam participated in the third annual Temple to Temple 5K on July 24th. The race goes from the old Provo City Temple to the new Provo City Center Temple. We have participated every year since they began doing this. Megan especially loves it.

I sat out this year with the babies, but hopefully next year we can all participate.

After the 5k, we headed up to Bridal Veil Falls. It was our first time going there. We will likely go again in the future and attempt to hike to the top.

We ended our day with some ginormous snow cones. It was great having the day off to spend together as a family and do some fun activities.

Charlotte at 1 Month

Charlotte turned one month old on July 17th. It has been so fun watching her grow and change. I love living in this digital age so I can take as many pictures as my heart desires.

 

I tried to do a little photo shoot within a few days of her birth. I found that photoshoots are really hard on my back and really hard in general. But I got a few sweet ones.

     

All of my children have been such sweet little babies, but Charlotte takes the cake. She is SO sweet. She is calm and happy and just…content. She is my easiest baby by a long shot (and that’s saying something because Jane and Alec were both easy babies.) She just eats and sleeps and does her own thing.

It seems like she sleeps a lot more than my other babies. She has a lot of chaos to sleep through but she doesn’t seem to mind. She shares a room with Adam and me, and sleeps nights in my arms. She has ALWAYS been a good nighttime sleeper. She will go 4-5 hour stretches during the night, and even then she just wakes up to nurse and goes right back to sleep. It just must be so exhausting being so cute.

She is a good little nurser. Meal time only takes about 5 minutes and she’s satisfied. She does spit up… a lot. More than any of my other babies for sure. I think I am just producing way too much milk and she can’t keep up! Hopefully once things start to even out we will have less spit up! At her two week check-up she was up from her birth weight by 4 oz, at 7lbs 15oz. Also, her hair is curly, but only when wet. When it is dry it just sticks straight up. I love it.

We are all so enamored with Charlie, but no one is more so than big sister Janie. Jane cannot get enough of her, and luckily Alec still loves babies as well. Megan is so sweet to all her little siblings.

Charlotte is such a joy and has brought such a wonderful spirit into our home. We are so glad to have her and couldn’t imagine our family without her.

Cousin Marshall’s Baptism

My sweet little nephew Marshall was baptized by his daddy on July 11th up in Centerville, Utah. We were happy to able to attend with our little family.

The Vidal family came from Las Vegas for the event and of course to meet baby Charlotte.

I also got to meet my darling nephew Micah. He is perfection.

Charlotte and Micah. Just over 2 months apart.

Although I have already met Jude before, I was happy to cuddle and love up on his cute little self as well.

And of course Grandma Marshall wanted to love up on every baby at the same time.

Pretty much everyone had baby fever.

We got our first family photo (other than the ones from the hospital…)

And the cousins had SO.MUCH.FUN. playing together all weekend.

All the cousins were so proud of their cousin Marshall. He really is a sweetheart. Thank you for inviting us to be part of your special weekend!