Monthly Archives: December 2010

Joy

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Yesterday when I wrote about Jane’s birth, I said I couldn’t imagine a better birthing experience. On November 18th, 2008, I had the complete opposite experience when my son Jack was born. Today as I bask in the joy that is my new little girl, I also grieve and ache for my precious son. Today my sweet Janie is one day old. Two years ago today my sweet Jack was called home to his Heavenly Father.

I truly know much of heartache and suffering. Not a day has passed since Jack’s death without my thinking about him; wishing I could have raised him; wondering what he would have been like today. But oh what I know of joy! My Megan is truly one of a kind. I cannot imagine life without her.

As I cradle my newest little one, I can’t help but consider what it would have been like to have lost her, too. I never would have experienced her sweet little sighs, squeaks, and whimpers. And by the same token, I can’t help but think as I hold her what it would have been like to have done the same with Jack. To have had the chance to experience his warmth and soft body as he wriggled and nestled on my chest.

Jane (nor any other child for that matter) will never replace our little Jack. But in her very presence I can feel the love of my Heavenly Father and I feel honored that he has entrusted me with another of His precious children. This day, on Jack’s death anniversary, clutching tight to my little Jane softens the blow of our greatest loss. What a special place in our family she will always have.

We love you Janie. And Jack. And Megan. 🙂

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Introducing…

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She’s here! She’s healthy! She’s beautiful! She’s perfect!

Baby Jane was born this morning at 11:56am. She weighed in at 8 pounds 4 ounces and measures 20.5 inches in length.

The hospital told us yesterday that they would call us this morning between 5 and 6 to tell us what time to come in. Our phone rang this morning at 5:02am and they asked if we could make it in by 6:00. I was so so so glad that they wanted us to come in first thing. I hadn’t gotten much sleep, but I was bright-eyed and ready to go!

They got me into my room at 7:00 and the nurse checked me and found that I was already at about 6cm! I had been having pretty strong contractions all night long, every night long, for about a week. In fact, one night I was up timing contractions that were consistently seven minutes apart for about four hours, only to have them suddenly stop all together. Anyway, by the time my doctor came in and broke my water (8:45) I was at a 7. Three hours later, Baby Jane arrived!! No pitocin. No c-section. No problems!

It’s hard to say how long I was actually in labor. Like I said, for at least a week I had consistent contractions every single night, and they were pretty strong…thus the reason why I showed up to be induced and I was already at 6cm. I guess I was in “active labor” from the time the doctor broke my water to the time she arrived and that was only about three hours. Whatever the case may be, the labor and delivery went SO SMOOTH. I can’t imagine a better birthing experience. It was really wonderful. She came out crying and pink and perfect. We really are so blessed!

When they first put Jane in my arms (which was several minutes longer than I had hoped because the NICU team needed to check her out) I was totally taken aback. She was not what I was expecting! She looked totally different from both Megan and Jack, weighing about a pound more than both of them did, and they both had much more hair than she did. Also, her hair was BLONDE!! Jack and Megan both had tons of brown hair. I thought, I don’t know this girl,which is pretty true since it was just seven weeks ago that we found out that we were expecting Jane. It was pretty strange. But now, as she lays here beside me, I can totally see her resemblance to her big sister and her older brother. She is so cute and I love her to the moon and back.

I feel really good and I am recovering well. Seriously, everything has gone so well. I now have three little babes to call my own. I am just in heaven, and today I consider myself the luckiest woman in the world.

Tomorrow…Tomorrow…

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Well…Baby Jane has not yet arrived!!!

My doctor has said from the start that he would only let me go one week over. So…that’s tomorrow.

Initially he told me that they could do NOTHING to induce me, but at my last appointment, he told me that before just jumping in and doing a c-section, he would break my water and maybe even give me a low, low, low, pitocin drip and see how things progress. He also told me that I should just expect to have an epidural because he wants me immediately ready for a c-section if need be. I had not been planning on having an epidural (if I could avoid a c-section), but I totally understand/see the logic of it being required. I hadn’t had an epidural with Jack, and when they decided they needed to do the emergency c-section, they lost plenty of precious time waiting for me to numb. I do not expect things to go that way this time, but I am all for being as prepared as possible if they do.

So anyway, the hospital called me to today and did some paperwork stuff over the phone and told me that they would call me bright and early tomorrow morning and tell me what time to come in. So…that’s the plan for now. Obviously I am hoping to go in first thing and have my baby by the end of the day, but we’ll not know the schedule until tomorrow. I am so anxious to meet this little lady. Sometimes my gut feeling is that this little girl is just going to be as sweet as they come, but then from the way her pregnancy has been, I imagine I am going to have a little mischievous jokester on my hands. Only time will tell.

When I opened up my blog tonight, I was planning on writing about all the fun Christmas activities we have done over the past few weeks because I don’t know if I will get to it after Jane arrives. But it’s now too late and I am sooooo tired and I think I might have a long day ahead of me tomorrow so I better just go to bed. So…if I don’t ever write about Christmas, just know that we did LOTS of fun things and we had a GREAT holiday!!!

6 More Days?

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Well, Jane’s due date is exactly 6 days away. And actually, today is pretty much over so it’s more like five days away.

I have finally grown very anxious for her arrival. I can hardly wait to meet her, and I am ready to be done being pregnant. I am not the most glamorous pregnant woman (in fact, far from it) so I am ready to be myself again. Also, Adam is pretty much done with school for the semester. The sooner Jane arrives, the more unadulterated time he gets to spend with her before the new semester starts. And also, Christmas is ten days away…it be nice to enjoy Christmas with our newest babe.

All that being said, however, I am just fine waiting for Jane to arrive when she is ready. Nothing is more important to me than her safe and healthy arrival, so at this point, I am feeling pretty patient. The only thing is, my doctor will not allow me to go more than a week over my due date. Right now we are planning on a non c-section delivery, but if Jane doesn’t arrive – on her own – by December 28th, then she will have to be delivered via c-section on that day. In order to make a non c-section delivery most safe and successful, I can not be induced. So, like I said, if she doesn’t arrive on her own within a week of my due date, then I have to have a repeat c-section (Megan was not a c-section baby, but Jack was delivered via emergency c-section).

The other thing is…the anniversary of Jack’s death is December 29th. I don’t know how I feel about having Jane’s birthday and his death day so very close together. I can see how it could be sweet and special, but I can also see how the two dates need to be more distinct and separate. So you can see how it would be easiest if Jane would just arrive on her own. Sooner than later!

Anyway, at the very latest, we will have a new baby in our family in thirteen short days (and since today is almost over…it’s more like only 12 more days!). I don’t think anyone has anticipated the arrival of a child more than I am at this time (well, Mary might have been pretty anxious and all those others who were anticipating the birth of the Savior…okay, but still…I am REALLY looking forward to this!) I have been waiting for years to hold my own precious new baby in my arms. I guess I can wait twelve more days.

39 Weeks and 1 (almost 2) days Pregnant

Sisters

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This sweet girl is SOOOOOOO anxious for the arrival of her little sister!!!

She talks about Jane every day.

She talks to Jane every day.

She gives my belly lots of hugs and lots of kisses every day.

She tells us all the things she is going to do with Jane, and all the things she is going to teach Jane: every day.

It is wonderful to see this excitement from her. She is totally ready to be a big sister. I can’t wait for my two girls to meet!! Jane’s estimated date of arrival is less than two weeks away now!! We’re getting so excited!!!

(I tried to catch a photo of Megan hugging my belly. Not the easiest thing to do…but there you have it!!)

“Jane”

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Jane was one of the names that has been on our baby list for the past couple of years as we have ached for another child.

When I found out that I was pregnant in April of this year, of all the names we had discussed, I randomly decided to look up the meaning of the name “Jane”. When I discovered that the meaning was “God is Gracious”, I was filled with such emotion. Of course my experiences over the past year and a half had intensified my testimony of the graciousness of God, and that truth was something I held so close to my heart.

While the truthfulness of that statement (God is gracious) hit me with such sweet emotion and force, it wasn’t that alone that solidified our decision to name our baby Jane if she was a girl. After all, there are plenty of baby names that testify of God and His goodness and grace. No, the name was solidified that morning because it just so happens that her angel brother’s name means the exact same thing. Boy or girl, we wanted our baby’s name to have special meaning, and if possible somehow have a tie to Jack’s name.

When we were told that we were having a boy, we obviously no longer considered using the name “Jane”. But when we were later told that our baby WAS a girl, then there was no question about whether or not she would be baby Jane.

We didn’t even know that Jane and Jack meant the same thing when we were considering Jane’s name, and we probably would have still named her Jane even if the names didn’t have that relationship. But what a special tie she will have to her big brother Jack and what a sweet reminder her name will be to all of us of the “Grace of God”.